![]() That’s the one I want to write about today. (Just for fun, a free version is at ) It sorts you out in four attitudes or preferences for which “there are basically two kinds of people in this world.” The first letter identifies whether you are an Extravert or an Introvert. Many of us have taken the Myers-Briggs at work or school, and know our four-letter personality type, such as ESTJ, INFP, etc. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator measures these tendencies, to help identify your personality style. How many jokes begin with that opener? Actually, in some aspects of our personalities people do tend to gravitate toward one of two types. “There are two kinds of people in this world…” Author Camryn Darkstone Posted on MaCategories personal, relationships Tags D/s, friendship, gratitude, INFP, introversion, introvert vs extrovert, introverts, introverts and extraverts, love, myers briggs type, myers briggs type indicator, relationships, serenity, solitude 3 Comments on Solitude Introverts If I am not like you, and if that bothers you, I hope you will forgive me. After several decades of self discovery, I know with deep certainty that this is who I am supposed to be. I need these things so that I can sustain essential relationships, work, activity and community. I am an introvert. My source of energy is reflection, deep thought, solitude and intimacy. It means that in this moment, I need to be recharging my batteries, but later, when I’m recharged, I’ll probably be up for spending time together.Ī few years ago, I wrote about the difference between introverts and extroverts. And if you interrupt me and I say, “not right now,” it means exactly that–it doesn’t mean forever. So don’t worry that you will bother me if you interrupt me. If for some reason I need to protect my solitude, I will that is my responsibility, not yours. That doesn’t mean that I hate interruptions, or that I don’t want to be around people. I am most likely content, and happily immersed. But unless something unusual has happened to cause it, you can be certain that I am not sulking, pining, standoffish, hiding, lonely or withdrawn. I may be working, playing, reflecting, studying, meditating, daydreaming, praying, planning, or indulging in small pleasures. And then, in order to recharge my batteries, I need solitude. ![]() At some point, even if I am enjoying myself, I will begin to feel drained, then exhausted. I like to laugh and share and be intimate just as much as anyone. I enjoy being with the people I love, and I seek out their company because I like it. ![]() They seek out company because being with people recharges their batteries. Most people draw energy from being around others, and when they are alone, they feel lonely and isolated. Furthermore–and this is important–solitude is not the opposite of relationships. Solitude is tranquility, a restful peace. Solitude is not depressing, painful, or unhealthy in any way.įor me, and others like me, solitude is serenity. Solitude is not the same thing as loneliness. Since some of you will read that and instantly have a negative reaction, let me unpack it for you. It is also true that I am sustained by solitude. I am very glad to be part of the community, part of a family, and part of a D/s relationship that is, quite simply, life-sustaining for me.Īll of that is absolutely true. I am also blessed to be part of a wonderful community, to which I happily give time, talent and energy, because I enjoy doing so, and as a way of returning thanks for the many gifts I have received. I strive to show them the same love, compassion and respect that I have received. I give thanks every day that I am lucky enough to have these people in my life. I am blessed to enjoy a handful of intimate relationships with some remarkable people. So please keep that in mind if you find yourself thinking that there is something “wrong” with me. Just because something works for you does not mean that it works for anyone else. What is right and good and healthy and natural for me, may be completely different from what is right and good and healthy and natural for you. I know that seems crushingly obvious, but I need to say it. Let me start with a caveat: people are different. Even if you think it’s simple, trust me, it’s not. If you read one sentence, or even one paragraph, and quickly believe that you understand… please bear with me, because you probably don’t understand. No matter where I start my explanation, it will be very easy to jump to conclusions. I ask you, gentle reader, to suspend judgement until you have read my entire post, and do your best to understand, and, if necessary, forgive. I want to reveal something personal about myself. Sweet Solitude by Edmund Blair Leighton, 1919
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